The Ram (Relationship Attachment Model) can help determine if you are in a healthy relationship. It is a tool developed by John Van Epp to help assess relationships using five fundamental dynamics which describe the depth of how you know, trust, rely, commit and touch another person. How do these five concepts of relationship bonds interact with each other? Is the first example how a healthy relationship would appear? This relationship is full of touch without knowing, trusting, relying or committing to the other person. A rule for creating a safe relationship is, “Never go further in one bonding area than you have gone in the previous.” Your commitment to the other person should never be higher than rely, trust or know. The second example shows a relationship where the couple has balance and is planted securely in the “safe zone.” Balancing all five bonding dynamics will help determine the healthiness of your relationship and whether you see the other person with a clear lens.
Reference
Van Epp, J. (2008). How To Avoid Falling In Love With A Jerk: The Foolproof Way To Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill Professional Publishing.
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