Sunday, March 27, 2016

Developing "Oneness" in Marriage



            President Henry B. Eyring in his talk, That We May Be One1, said, “Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity.” In a marriage this can be difficult to have at times. Satan tries to influence us to be separate and divided by doing our own agenda with little regard for our spouse. Elder Eyring went on to say, “Sometimes in our families and perhaps in other settings we have glimpsed life when one person put the interests of another above his or her own, in love and with sacrifice. And all of us know something of the sadness and loneliness of being separate and alone. We don’t need to be told which we should choose.
            How can we achieve “oneness” in our marriage? In the world today this seems to be an impossible reality because Satan teaches this goes against an individual being independent and strong, achieving what their heart desires. In my marriage this has been a goal Dale and I set on our wedding day. We wanted to achieve the oneness we saw our parents developing in their marriages and the happiness and joy it brought them. In the past 36 years can I say it has been easy? No, I cannot? Can I say we are there yet? No, I can’t. But I can say we have tried hard and will continue to try hard by following the teachings of our Savior, Jesus Christ who commanded us to “become as one.” In John 17:18-21 our Savior was about to leave His most beloved Apostles when he offered this prayer to His Father. He said:
“As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
“And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
“Neither pray I for those alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
“That they may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me.
            By living the gospel of Jesus Christ we can change our hearts and learn how to become as one in our marriages. Here are some thoughts from Elder Eyring on how living our Baptism Covenants can change our hearts:
    Where people have the Spirit with them, we may expect harmony… It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union with others.”
    “We can have His Spirit by keeping that covenant (the baptism covenant of taking His name upon us)…The ideal of doing for each other what the Lord would have us do, which follows naturally from taking His name upon us, can take us to a spiritual level which is a touch of heaven on earth.”
    “We promise always to remember Him…When the feelings of forgiveness and peace come, we remember His patience and His endless love.”
    “We promise as we take the Sacrament to keep His commandments, all of them…There are some commandments which, when broken, destroy unity. Some have to do with what we say and some with how we react to what others say.”
    “The Holy Ghost remains with us only if we stay clean and free from the love of the things of the world.”
    “Beware of pride…A man and women learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each other and their differences to compliment each other in serving one another and those around them.”
            This is inspired counsel which can help all of us build a marriage where we continue to grow this “oneness.” I know living these principles has strengthened my marriage as we have dealt with the challenges of health issues, children, financial difficulties, job loss, taking care of parents, loss of parents, growing old and other issues which can drive wedges in a marriage. I love this promise Elder Eyring expressed when he said, “The requirement that we be one is not for this life alone. It is to be without end.”
           



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