President
Henry B. Eyring in his talk, That We May Be One1, said, “Our
Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not
simply an ideal. It is a necessity.” In a marriage this can be difficult to
have at times. Satan tries to influence us to be separate and divided by doing
our own agenda with little regard for our spouse. Elder Eyring went on to say, “Sometimes
in our families and perhaps in other settings we have glimpsed life when one
person put the interests of another above his or her own, in love and with
sacrifice. And all of us know something of the sadness and loneliness of being
separate and alone. We don’t need to be told which we should choose.”
How can we achieve “oneness” in our
marriage? In the world today this seems to be
an impossible reality because Satan teaches this goes against an individual
being independent and strong, achieving what their heart desires. In my marriage
this has been a goal Dale and I set on our wedding day. We wanted to achieve
the oneness we saw our parents developing in their marriages and the happiness
and joy it brought them. In the past 36 years can I say it has been easy? No, I
cannot? Can I say we are there yet? No, I can’t. But I can say we have tried
hard and will continue to try hard by following the teachings of our Savior,
Jesus Christ who commanded us to “become as one.” In John 17:18-21 our Savior
was about to leave His most beloved Apostles when he offered this prayer to His
Father. He said:
“As thou hast sent me into the world,
even so have I also sent them into the world.
“And for their sakes I sanctify
myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
“Neither pray I for those alone, but
for them also which shall believe on me through their word;
“That they may be one; as thou,
Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the
world may believe that thou hast sent me.”
By living the gospel of Jesus Christ we can
change our hearts and learn how to become as one in our marriages. Here are
some thoughts from Elder Eyring on how living our Baptism Covenants can change
our hearts:
•
“Where people have the Spirit with
them, we may expect harmony… It leads to personal peace and a feeling of union
with others.”
•
“We can have His
Spirit by keeping that covenant (the baptism covenant of taking His name upon
us)…The ideal of doing for each other what the Lord would have us do, which
follows naturally from taking His name upon us, can take us to a spiritual
level which is a touch of heaven on earth.”
•
“We promise always
to remember Him…When the feelings of forgiveness and peace come, we remember
His patience and His endless love.”
•
“We promise as we
take the Sacrament to keep His commandments, all of them…There are some
commandments which, when broken, destroy unity. Some have to do with what we
say and some with how we react to what others say.”
•
“The Holy Ghost
remains with us only if we stay clean and free from the love of the things of
the world.”
•
“Beware of pride…A
man and women learn to be one by using their similarities to understand each
other and their differences to compliment each other in serving one another and
those around them.”
This is inspired counsel which can help all of us build a
marriage where we continue to grow this “oneness.” I know living these
principles has strengthened my marriage as we have dealt with the challenges of
health issues, children, financial difficulties, job loss, taking care of
parents, loss of parents, growing old and other issues which can drive wedges
in a marriage. I love this promise Elder Eyring expressed when he said, “The
requirement that we be one is not for this life alone. It is to be without end.”
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